Self Pity, Absence and Cliches

If you have already read this on “Third Blog that [almost]Never Gets Updated”, then please feel free to scroll down and be scathing about my lazy blogging habits:

So Himself may be working FIFO* before long. We knew it was likely to happen, but made a point of having his contract stipulate that it wouldn’t be happening for two years plus…(NOT very realistic!). Seven months in and here we are. He’s going away soon.

“We” have mixed feelings. Of course, I would like him to be home every night tucking the children into bed as is our privilege now (and so would he). The children love that when they are eating dinner they can glance round and at any time see Daddy’s cheeky grin appear through the window…home from a long (5 am- 6 pm people-!!) day’s work.

I love that I can call him and say “please could you pick up [blank] on your way home, because I forgot earlier”. Or “do you fancy a bottle of wine tonight? why don’t you stop by the bottle shop?”. We’ll tuck the children in together, we’ll eat dinner, drink a glass of wine, take the piss out of each other mercilessly and then fall into bed happy and contented with at least one of the little ones already in place in our bed to kick us in the head all night…just how we like it!

Now we are going to be going back to snatched time and separate lives described to each other via email and phone. It’s what we’re used to. It’s Himself’s industry, and my industry all over. In the Entertainment industry, there’s no such thing as a “normal” life. In the construction industry, you can only plan for as long as each job takes. It’s what my parent’s did before me (Film industry) and what Himself’s parents did before him (Construction Industry). We have become our (wonderful by the way) Parents. Time away. Lots of space. Absence makes the heart grow fonder (and other cliches)…

I am lucky. I have work to do on the magazine. I have suppliers to ring and emails to send. I have children to run me ragged all day so that I fall in to bed at night and (try to)sleep until morning**. I have Pilates classes and new friends. A great laid back city to exist in and make my mark upon. When Himself returns, it will be for a week at a time instead of a weekend. We will share the school run and spend time alone. We will sing and dance and celebrate our time together. We take the piss out of each other mercilessly. We will laugh and tell stories of our new separated lives. It will be fun.

But for now I am allowing myself a moment of self pity. A moment to grieve the last few months of Weirdness that is normality for many people working nine to five jobs. A moment to irrationally burst into tears and say “I’ll miss you”. Because I will. And so will the boys.

*Fly In Fly Out

**in between children crying; various requests for drinks; bad dreams; diarrhoea and sickness (at times); other miscellaneous night time interruptions – you get the picture.

~ by Femme on May 22, 2007.